Part 27: Mission 13: The Lion Falls
Episode 13: Assault on Blackrock Spire or The Lion Falls
: Sir Lothar? Sir Lothar, we've made it. The forces around Crestfall have been routed. Has anyone seen Sir Lothar?
: The men here are saying that the Lion's forces have already made contact with the enemy.
: What!? He's already...
: Relax, boyo. It's th' General 'imself. 'E survived th' First War, 'e'll survive this.: As well, he has Lieutenant Turalyon backing him up. We'll just clean up the remainder here.: Yes, I suppose you're right. This war is won already.
Let's talk about this a little bit. For Warcraft nerds, this was something of a "Han shot first" problem for quite awhile. Warcraft II states that Lothar went out to Blackrock Spire to negotiate with the orcs. Of course, we know now that Lothar isn't going to go down in the history books for something as stupid as that. It was later changed to him dueling Doomhammer outside of Blackrock Spire and... losing. Yup. In terms of badassery, Doomhammer trumps Lothar.
: We may as well get this base under control.
: Uh, Gaz? ...What is that?: Oh, no.
: By the Light, I had heard that we were utilizing them, but I hadn't seen one set for battle yet.: Them? What is that!?: I wouldn't expect an Azerothian to know. That's a gryphon; we have a few in Dalaran, mostly acting as couriers, but this...: ...it's a Wild'ammer gryphon.: Well, for once you're correct, dwarf. It's a-: I HATE WILD'AMMERS!: Woah, Ruku we-: Just let him go. Do we really want to get in the middle of a tiny dwarven rage?: ...: RAAAAAGHHHHH! WILD'AMMERS!: Fair enough. What of the scouting report?: Let's see here...
: Ah, Nether.: What is it?: Well, it appears that Lord Lothar may have missed an errant dragon.: Dragon!?: Relax, I'm sure we'll be fine. We dispatched the one at Alterac easily enough.: At heavy losses. What else of the report?
: There was a lightly defended oil patch to the north. I suggest taking that as our first priority. Lord Lothar will need plenty of transports for our return to Stormwind.: Uh... the dragon?
: Don't worry about the dragon. Keep your eyes on the resources, Varin.
: ...But they're so destructive.: You said it yourself. This battle is won already. It's probably just been routed from the frontlines. Fleeing the skirmish, if you will.
: I said that? Well, then I guess it's alright. Now that we have a steady supply of oil, what of the reports? Have the gnomes caught sight of Lord Lothar or Turalyon?: Let's see... No, they-
: Ah.: Hm? What is it?: Oh... well, it's just a... a...
: ...a dragon roost.: What!? But the main forces are already at battle! How could there be... Oh, no.: Varin?: Mobilize the men. We have to get to the frontlines fast. And I want that dragon killed!: Did I jus' hear dragon?: Yes. Gaz, get one of the Wildhammers for it, they're perfect-: WILD'AMMER!? But what about me!? I'mma dragonslayer!
: We got into contact with one that was surveying a prospective landing site. I'll give him orders to engage the dragon.: Tha's not fair! I've been with ye longer! Damn, dirty Wild'ammers!
: Ruku, you have to understand that we have to use the right tool for the job and-: I'm th' right tool fer e'ery job!
: Jeez, what do you have against these Wildrammer dwarves?: First off, it's Wild'ammer! Secondly, they're dirty an' filthy an' their armor dun even menace with spikes o' anythin'! And finally... me wife was a Wild'ammer.
: Ruku, we're a cohesive unit. These Wildhammers are a part of our unit, and we need you to respect and work with them.: The "Captain" is right, dwarf. I don't like you and I still work with you.: Aye, but what about Gary?
Sidenote: RNG at it's finest folks! Do note this is back in the day of random interval damage. Just got lucky here.
: What about him?: Tha' new suit o' clothes ye gave 'im?
: ...I think it looks good on him.: Gaz, I can't say I like the look in Gary's eyes there. You might want to be careful with those pranks.: Yes... pranks.
: 'Oi! Incomin'!: Hurry! Gary, to the front!
These attacks are brutal. No joke. Like with every other mission, if you aren't prepared, you're going to lose immediately. However, unlike every other mission, if you are prepared, you'll only lose everything you have. Which isn't losing.
: I'm starting to think more and more that Lord Lothar might be in trouble.
: Ye shoulda hired clan Firefist instead o' those damn Wild'ammers. We'd 'ave these ogres cleaned up faster.
Oh, yes, and the attacking forces come in pairs. One (orange) which is a quick and easy distraction, and another (red) which will devastate your base in seconds.
: I thought we brought along some of your clansmen, Ruku.
: Oh, aye, ye did! Charge, Firefist!: By the Light, NO!
: Aye, they were good lads.: I hate you pint-sized psychopaths.: Clean up those limbs and follow that transport. I don't want any more orcish envoys upon our shores.
: Apparently they're coming from the center island. Y'know. With the dragon.: Problematic. We'll need to take out that transport to stymie enemy movement.: You may not be a captain any more, but you still talk like one.
: Aye, aye, Cap'n! I'll order th' Wild'ammer boys out!: Wait, what?
: Ruku, call them back! That's suicide!: Didn't you just meet his clansmen? You're encouraging him.
: Oh, darn. Th' wee lil' birdie went poof!: RUKU! How dare you send innocent men away to die!: I don't see how that's any different from what we do.: Mercenary, get out of my camp! Go... anywhere else!
: Grr... better than to live under the same roof as Wild'ammer conspirators!: I can't believe him, Gaz. Now that the pouting baby is gone, we can erect some real defenses.: Already on it.
: You had Gary sealed behind a wall.: Better pay up, Gare-bear!: ...: He hates it when I call him that.
: Aaaaand he tunneled out.: Son of a bitch that bastard is strong! That's solid stone!: He has a pickaxe.: WHO LET HIM HAVE A PICKAXE!?Meanwhile...
: Damn Wild'ammers. I'll see 'em all burn.
: I'll... I'll... Oh, Berka...
: Aye... There. There I'll strike back. I'll show those Wild'ammers who's worthy!Back at base...
: We've got an aviary up, Varin. I assume with the dwarf out of the picture, we can get some more gryphons roosting?: Of course. With all the swamp land throughout here, we'll need to have a fast way to maneuver about and strike.: Varin? The shipyard-!
: Damn fine time for us to lose our hired help.: Correction: Damn fine time for us to get rid of our hired help.
: Varin, the Wildjammers are saying there's some activity from the west.: Move the men around. Keep the perimeter intact!
A really terrible image, but you get the picture. HORRIFIC AND TERRIBLE PAIN.
: FIGHT ON, MEN!: Retreat you morons!
And I was prepared.
: Oh, Light.
: Varin, inside, quickly! Let the dwarves handle this.: Leaving our lives in the hands of dwarves? That's new for you, Gaz.
: Yeah, well... these guys aren't Ruku.: Haha, a good point you make. Now let's get going. We have a lot of work ahead of us.: Dammit, dwarf. Where are you?Meanwhile...
: Put 'em up, boys! An' do it all dwarven-like! None o' tha' crap tha' Varin puts up!
: Tha's not dwarven! ...Ah, but it'll do.
: An' let's get some o' Varin's men o'er here. No Wild'ammers, though!
: I'm not likin' th' look o' those ogres.
: 'Specially since they're shootin' them damn eyeballs e'erywhere! Ugh.Back at base...
: Varin, the Silver Hand has put up a church nearby. I think-: Excellent. The Light is on our side!: -we should tear it down immediately. But no, sure, the Light will save us all.
: Gaz, are you doubting the power of the Light? It's clearly aided our men before.: Varin, not to stomp on your beliefs or anything, but that's just magic. I do magic. I know magic. The powers of the Light is just what I do.
: Really, Gaz? Then how do you explain this?
: That's just magic! Weak magic, too. Over at Dalaran we've been-: GAH! NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO DOUBT OUR FAITH!: Your faith.
: See! Trust in the Light and we can persevere!: Or we can have the dwarves throw those stupid magic hammers! Magic, go!
: Go forth paladins! For Azeroth!: Varin, wait! Belay that charge!
I did mention that flying units tend to do a massive amount of collateral damage, right?
: ...: DWARVES! ARGH!Meanwhile...
: Har, har! To battle!
: Pathetic. 
: These Silver Hand guys are good! I think...
: ...it's time ta counter-attack.
: 'Oi, you fella's heal up fast. Tell me more about this Light thing...
: So yer hands are fer killin' AND healin'?
: Good deal.Back at base...
: Get these dwarves out of here, Gaz. They're a threat to us.: Varin, the general needs our help-: I understand. Every tool has it's job. Send them to their deaths. Y'know. The dragons.
: These are dwarves we're dealing with here. They're more than happy to do this.
: I mean, there will be losses.: Acceptable losses.: I'm calling for a retreat, there are better ways to handle this.
: What? No. No more dwarves.: I just think we can use the Light to make things a little easier for us.
The humans have the unique ability to make sieges really long and boring. You move in with a group of men and retreat the wounded back to be healed by paladins. Not very practical with ground units, since you may as well have the paladins up there fighting as well, but when it comes to your flying units it's a good way to conserve resources.
: Sort of like a hospital. Y'know, just with... the, uh, Light.: Don't you mean magic? You're just abusing the Light, now.: Varin, I'm sorry to have attacked your beliefs, but they kind of... don't mesh well with mine. Can we just get along for a little bit longer?: Fine. But after this, you and the mercenary are gone.Meanwhile...
: 'Oi! Me honorary Firefists! Get out o' there!
Death and Decay. The spell that struck fear into my heart as a child. A small area is dealt massive amounts of damage over time, buildings and flying units. It also creates this unique crackling noise that pretty quickly alerts you to- OH WAIT, TOO LATE EVERYTHING IS DEAD.
: By me gran'daddy's beard... the devil was that?
: 'Oi, there's th' bastard. Alright, Hand o' Firefist. Ye have yer orders!Back at the dragon roost...
: Commencing the second wave of assaults, Varin.
: I'm very serious, Gaz. I will get rid of you.: Your father told me the same thing once.
: Oh, really? When was that?: During the First War. I mentioned that the daemons were pretty cool.
: Gaz!: What? They are!
: Ugh, that's one problem dealt with. Do the men know anything of Lord Lothar's last appearance?: Indeed. Across the marshes here to the north, just outside the Spire itself.
: Fortifications spotted. Lothar's men have been through here.
: Oh, hullo there!: Ruku! What are you doing here? Where's Lord Lothar?: Oh... tha'. Yeah. Me boys were with him in the attack. Well, with Turalyon. Lord Lothar, he... He's dead, boyo.: What!?: Impossible!: Aye, 'tis true. That massive beastie Doom'ammer killed 'im not far from 'ere. Turalyon got 'im, though. Doom'ammer, tha' is. He's on 'is way to th' Capital City now.: I can't believe it.: Then our mission here is just as important as it was before. We run off these dirty creatures and be done with this war.
: Tha's th' spirit! 
: Aye, Varin, tell me more about this Light thing. Me boyos tell me it's somethin' else!: Ruku, I don't think that's appropriate.
: Varin, you spent the whole time lecturing me about it. Why not spare the dwarf some time for your sermon?
: Very well, Ruku. The Light is a guiding force that flows through us all...Later...
: Aye, but Varin, if th' Light is in all o' us...
: What about them beasties?: Daemon!: So cool.: Daemons are devoid of Light, Ruku! Send them back from whence they spawned!: Woah, woah, Varin. I'm a mage, and even I don't say 'whence.'Meanwhile...
: !?
: ...
: ...Back on the front lines...
: I just got this strange feeling, like... I may never get my gold back from Gary.
: Tha's Blackrock Spire?: Well, it's what they're using as a base for now. More orcs are holed up in the mountain itself I'm sure.: Aye, so tha's where we're off ta next?: Uh... well...
: He's a little scared, it seems.: It's not that! There's just so much to do. We can leave the clean-up to the ancillary troops.: Aren't we the ancillary troops...?: Aye, it's fer the best anyway. Th' Dark Irons are prolly still hidin' in there.
: What? But the orcs have been in there since the First War. Did they kill off the Dark Iron?: One can hope, lad, but I doubt it. Th' Dark Iron are a tough bunch o' bastards.: I've received word from our scouts, Varin.
: There's another settlement to the west of here.
: It's... pretty pathetic.: Oooh, Varin! Can I...?Later...
: Heh...
: FER THE LIGHT! KNIGHTS O' THE FIREFIST, CHARGE! SKEWER 'EM ALL!
: He's almost adorable like this.: Gaz, we need to talk.
: Oh?: I can't really get rid of you or Ruku. Not now.
: Why the change of heart?: With Lothar dead and the orcs fleeing, it's just... we're so close. We came this far together, we're going to finish it together. As friends, right?: Haha, of course, Varin.
: 'Sides, ye can't get rid o' us since ye ain't even a cap'n! Har, har, har!